I’m sorry my depression wasn’t convenient for you.
I’m sorry my depression rocked the boat.
I’m sorry it interrupted our relationship.
I’m sorry it made me paranoid and mistrusting of your motives.
I’m sorry my depression made it hard for me to tell you what was going on.
I’m sorry my depression hurt your feelings.
I’m sorry it made me push you away.
I’m sorry it made things super awkward.
I’m sorry it made you feel like I didn’t need you.
My depression made me feel like I couldn’t need you.
I’m sorry that it took over everything.
I’m sorry that it made me shut you out (I was only trying to protect you).
I wish things had gone different.
I wish I would’ve trusted you to be there.
I wish you would have forced me to see that you would be there (by being there).
I wish you would have dropped everything to come sit with me until I felt better, even though
I would’ve told you not to (depression has a way of making me utter words I instantly regret).
I wish you would have stood in the rain outside my window vowing to be there for me when I’m ready.
I wish you could see depression makes me feel like I’ll never be ready.
I wish you could see how hard it is to be happy for you, because depression makes your wins feel like my loses.
I’m sorry if that’s hard for you to hear (it’s hard for me to feel).
I’m sorry if I don’t make sense.
I’m happy for you if you’ve never felt this way, because I love you and I’d never wish depression on you.
I just wish I loved myself enough to make it go away.
I just had to share this poem – it really hit home and while not all of it resonates with me and my life, a lot of it does and it’s heartbreaking.
I do love myself enough to (actively and consciously try to) make it go away.