I haven’t been too active here these past few days/past week or so because I’ve been so busy. I kinda just wanted to come on here and just write and give little updates through a list-style post.
I’m currently writing this from my couch while watching the Suns-Warriors game; it’s a pretty good game. I love fast-paced basketball games – they’re exciting and quick – lots of steals, blocks, fastbreaks. Personally, I’m rooting for the Warriors – I’m a fan of their playing style and Steph Curry is a fun player to watch. (Edit: Warriors ended up winning – it was a crazy and amazing ending; one of the best basketball games I’ve watched, hands down.)
My family and I went to Brooklyn, NY last weekend to visit family and it was a good (enough) trip I’d say. It’s never easy being there – there’s lots of trauma associated with it all – but I tried to stay positive and hopeful and I think that helped a lot.
Unfortunately, I caught a cold while in Brooklyn and I’ve been sick these past few days. I’ve been pushing through it, though, so it’s been okay.
School has been crazy – there’s just so much to do honestly. Before the end of the semester, I have 2 10-page papers, 4 3-page papers, 3 final exams, 1-2 presentations, a couple more classes to teach, final presentations to grade, and I need to finish, revise, and edit my 20-page seminar paper.
Graduation is on the 17th of May and I start grad school on the 18th of May – I’m already dreading it but I know it’s for the best.
I’ve been spending a lot of time with my family lately and it’s been nice. It’s always nice to just hand out and do whatever we want.
The weather today was just so amazing. The sun was out, there was a nice breeze – it felt like true Spring weather and I loved it.
Today, my siblings and I decided to spend some time in the backyard to clean up some of the landscaping after the Winter months. We spend quite a bit of time out there but it was kinda fun and it felt good to be productive and hands-on.
Unfortunately, at the end of it all, I stepped on a rake (not the kind to rake leaves, this kind of rake), one of the spikes went through my flip flop and and into the side of my foot. It’s been hurting an extreme amount but I don’t think it’s too too deep – at this point, I’m just really hoping I’m current on my tetanus shots and if not, I don’t know what to do.
Therapy is going well, I’d say. It’s been productive and I think I’ve been improving in many many ways. It’s been one of the greatest steps I’ve ever taken and I am just so thankful. I didn’t have a session this week because my therapist was sick and because of Easter break, but that’s okay.
Mentally, I think I’m in a good place. I’m rational, level-headed, and stable. I think I’m at that point where I’ve accepted my past, my flaws, and my weaknesses – now it’s just so much more about accepting who I am and where I am in life and pushing for who I want to be and where I want to be in life.
My confidence and self-levels are slowly, but surely going up. I’m nowhere near where I want to be but I am okay with that. I know that I never want to give up and be comfortable where I am – I always just want to keep fighting to be a better me.
I haven’t given up hope, belief, or faith – in anything. If anything, I’m stronger in those aspects. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen and I just have to be positive and hopeful through it all. I don’t expect every day to be amazing or even good – however, I do expect myself to face each day with as much charisma as I can.
I think one thing I’ve learned recently is that I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for. I have to start doing more things that scare me, more things that out of my comfort zone and if I fail and fall down, I have to have believe that I’m strong enough to get back up and fight back.
With that, I challenge you all to do one thing that scares you or takes you out of your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid – you are so much than you think you are.