Losing a Friend(ship) isn’t Easy

The Blogging 101 assignment for today is to “publish a post for your dream reader, and include a new-to-you element in it.” When I saw this, I was a bit disheartened because I don’t think I’ve thought about this enough to have a “dream reader” at this point in my blogging experience, but as I read the rest of the assignment, I saw that I have more power over this than I thought. So for this assignment, I’m writing to anyone going through any friendship issues right now and my new element is the picture I included up top – I am also starting to edit some graphics as my new blogging experience.

Muhammad Ali once said, “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” At some point in our lives, we start to learn the meaning of friendship. Maybe through one person, or a group of people, or through the loss of one person or a few people. Friendship is one of those things that’s hard to explain – it’s like you have to experience it to be able to understand it.

To me, there are a few levels to friendships. There are acquaintances, co-workers, classmates, roommates, teammates, childhood friends, siblings, cousins, and best friends. Each friendship type is different; there’s different elements to each type of friendship – the amount of time you spend together, where you spend time together, how you met, what dynamic you have, the roles you play in each other’s lives, and how important the friendship is to you.

Friends are important to have and they come in many different forms and they stay in your life for varying amounts of time. Friends help you grow as a person, they help the bad times pass and make the good times worthwhile. We all need friends. Some of us need (and have) many friends and some of have a small group of friends – all of this depends on circumstances, where we are in life, on the people that we are, and the people we are surrounded by.

I put best friends as the highest level of friendship because from my experience, it is. Having a best friend/being a best friend to someone is unlike the rest of the friendships. It’s like that person is your person and they just get you (if you watch Grey’s Anatomy, you know what I’m referencing). It’s like no matter what happens, you have that person and they’re on your side and they’re just there for you. You know that regardless of what happens in life, whatever it throws at you, your best friend is always going to be around to help you be the best person you can be. Your best friend is just always there and you guys make sense.

Some people have multiple best friends through life, some have multiple at the same time, and some may never have a best friend. I think all of this depends on what your definition of a best friend is.

Luckily, I had a person come into my life who defined what a best friend is. I still can’t put into words what a best friend is because I would start writing a novel about all the things I’ve learned – about her, about myself, and about life from her and from our best friendship. But if I could say one thing, it’s that I’m the luckiest person in the world to have had experienced a very special best friendship and if I could wish anything, it would be to have it again with my best friend.

(Oh look at that, I went off on a tangent, oops)

Are you struggling with the loss of a friend(ship)?

If you’re going through friendship issues, whatever they may be, please think about what you want. Take some time off and evaluate; what does this person mean to you? Is your life better with or without this person? How long do you see yourself being friends with this person? Is this friendship circumstantial or worth the effort?

Some friendships are meant to come to an end – people move away, life goes on, their time in your life ends. If and when this happens and you have accepted the end of the friendship, be introspective. Look at yourself as a person and as a friend; what can you improve on? What can you learn from the friendship (and subsequently, from the end of the friendship)? And as a reminder, try to be a kind human, be kind and thoughtful in whatever you do.

One the other hand, there are some friendships that last the test of time. If your friendship and your friend mean something of substance to you, fight for them. Show them you care. Show them what they mean to you. Do whatever it takes to mend the friendship.

Even if it means taking time away from one another to grow as individuals. Sometimes, distance helps and allows both people to clear their heads to make room for a better and stronger friendship.

If there is any chance of having a friendship again, don’t give up hope. Don’t ever give up that hope. Keep your faith in your friend and your friendship.

Whatever is meant to happen will happen.

Just remember that losing friendships is something we all go through. It doesn’t mean that you are lesser of a person, you are enough and you are worthy of amazing things. You mean more than you know. Your existence in the world, in someone’s life, is priceless. 

If you want to read some great quotes about friendship, here’s a great Thought Catalog article. 

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16 thoughts on “Losing a Friend(ship) isn’t Easy

  1. A few years back, I made the decision to end a 15-year-long friendship with a girl I had known since I was five years old. It was difficult, but it had to be done. I came to the realization that I was as you mentioned, better off without her. She hadn’t been a real friend to me in years and she betrayed my trust. Unfortunately, much of that could’ve been avoided had she not fallen victim to drug addiction. I cared about her too much to watch her destroy her life. I’m happy for you that you’ve found someone who can be a true best friend. There’s nothing else like the relationship between two close friends. Great post!

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    1. Unfortunately after 8 years, our friendship is on the rocks and we are currently not on good terms at all. Hopefully sometime soon we will work things out and be stronger and better. Thank you for your thoughtful response and good for you for putting yourself first.

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  2. Thank you for your lovely article – I have had to leave my best friends in another country… some understand and our friendship continues – others don’t . Your words are a good reminder of how worthy a good friend is!

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